filthymouthedramone-blog-blog

foto119:

Aaron by @Foto119

(via x-a-n-d-e-r)

Confidence is a stain they can’t wipe off.

“

A Letter to Prince…

Dear prince,

You have kept me hostage for some time now and I feel your time has come to an end. For so long I have been a prisoner of yours a selfish, mean, ignorant, and superficial narcissist and now I want out! For the past 2 years I'v just sat in the background letting you call all the shots and letting you drive this car. I’ve become the person that I never thought i’d be. Really? Opportunist? You were. I have let you transformed me into this cold-hearted person that I wasn’t raised to be. Who the hell do you think you are? You are no badd bitch, your a sad bitch who chooses pride over help. You are rude uppity and all you care about is your damn self! You have lied deceived and you have wounded my family and loved ones. Betrayed and prove to be unloyal to people that I love and look out for me. You’ve let my feelings and emotions torture me inside and annihilate anyone who dares to go after them. You have equipped me with an attitude, stubbornness, and selfishness sent directly from hell. You have made me push away people that could of been influential in my life, you have done some spiteful things to others out of pure anger, and you have lead me to believe that I’m a failure. I’m tired of these killer mood swings you give me. Im tired of this bipolar shit you created all these personalities. Your nobodies nicki minaj, your simply a sad cause. Got me up one minute and down the next throwing a damn temper tantrum about nothing. You have had me stressed out growing grey hairs about shit I can’t change and then you cause me to take things out on the people around me who are just trying to be there and help. You have gotten me so far off track, you’ve detoured me from my dreams, hopes and aspirations. You have placed superficial fake envious people who claim to be my friends but talk shit about me behind my back in my life, and you have gotten me just so content with being distant and insensitive. I can no longer let you have this kind of hold and control on me. It’s time for you to get your shit and get the hell out of here and to never comeback! I forgive you for everything, I really do. I realize in order for me to let you go I have to forgive you and forgive myself for being your prisoner for so long. I can’t continue to let you push away beautiful, influential, and strong people who I really need in my life right now. I’m at my breaking point and I just want to be free. I want peace from within myself. I want to be as calm as the ocean before the storm. I want to live again and not just exist. I don’t want to settle anymore I want to love and be loved. I want to be a leaf flowing in a river not knowing where I might end up. I don’t want to be a rude nasty bitch, but a charming determined successful man. I want to dream again and follow those dreams. It’s been a long time since I'v been this in tact with myself and I’m writing you this to tell you that this is it for you. The end of the fucking ride bitch, so exit! You have caused enough hurt and damage that I can no longer bare. The person you have made me out to be is conflicting with the person I’m trying to be and until I let you go I can’t be the person I want to be. I’m striving each and everyday to be a better person and to change. God knows Im trying my hardest! I want to get back on the path you have detoured me from, the one god had laid out for me. You have to die…so that Ramone can live again you just have too.

Signed Sincerely,

Ramone

A lot of you may think I’m coming from left field on this one and thats cool. I don’t expect you to understand because you’ve never walked in these nikes so your ignorant of my life and what Im going through. There is way more than you think it is. You think you know but you have no idea what i'v been through and overcame. It made me the force I am now! Everyone has a story and you shouldn’t pass judgement but you should uplift love and encourage. A good friend once told me that In order for me to be the person I wanted to be I would have to confront and forgive the person I use to be. He told me when I did that I could finally move on with my life and be happy. He told me this a while back and I tried it but I couldn’t get anything on the paper, but today I feel more in tact with myself and my feelings so I started to type. By me writing this letter to myself it helped me to acknowledge these things that aren’t like myself, forgive myself, change them, and move on. I thank god for putting this individual in my life, he has truly been a blessing and the push for my reformation. I have been wanting to change certain things about myself for the longest and I’m happy he gave me that push or crank that I needed. I thank god and I love him for that. You know exactly who you are. I also Thank god for never giving up on me and keeping me even in my wrong doing. I love him so much and without him I’m nothing. I hope this can be a guide to someone wanting to change things about there self but just don’t quite know how to initiate it.

I feel a huge burden has lifted off my shoulder and I’m really headed in the right direction this time.

.

Life, if you keep chasing it will eventually drive you to death. Time- when pursued like a bandit- will behave like one….. At some point you have to stop because IT WONT! You have to admit that you can’t catch it. That your not supposed to catch it. At some point, you gotta let go, sit still, and allow contentment to come to you.
I feel like this time I’m actually for real.